Why do I feel bad (and what can I do about it)?
Feeling sad/angry/anxious or just ‘bad’ in some way from time to time is a very normal part of the human experience. It’s unrealistic to expect to be happy all the time, emotions ebb and flow like waves. Emotions can be influenced by a range of things like external triggers, reminders of past events, thoughts, hormonal changes and medication to name a few. It’s important to remember that feeling bad isn’t a bad thing. Emotions aren’t harmful in anyway, although sometimes they can feel very uncomfortable. Your emotions are a normal part of your internal experience as a human.
Humans are organisms with an evolutionary purpose to survive, so it makes sense that emotions are there to help you survive, not to cause you any kind of harm.
First of all, let’s understand a bit more about why we have emotions in the first place.
Simply put, emotions are a message and a motivator to act. They are way for us to understand more about the situation we are in and prompt us act according to that emotion. Emotions tell us if we like or dislike what’s around us, if there’s something to be fearful of or if we should change what we are doing.
In cognitive behavioural therapy, we believe that our emotions are linked to how we interpret events, not the event itself. For example, it’s not the car that cuts me up that makes me angry, it’s how I perceive that experience and the fact that I think the other driver ‘did it on purpose’ or ‘is a careless idiot who is only thinking about himself.’ If I change my interpretation of this event to consider that maybe they cut me up because they are rushing to get their sick dog to the vets, then my emotional experience, its message and my response is very different.
Emotions can feel difficult to manage but fortunately, we have a lot of influence over our them. The way we think about our emotions and how we behave towards them can determine whether the way we feel changes, stays the same or gets worse. One of my intentions for this blog to shed some light on emotions and feelings and give tips on how to make more helpful choices to understand and manage them.
Top tips for understanding and managing your emotions:
Keep a journal about your difficult emotional experiences or use a mood tracker app.
Reflect on any patterns you notice between triggers, your response and the outcome.
If you notice that you are feeling worse and not better, consider if there are different things you could do to have a better outcome for you.
Be kind to yourself if you struggle, learning about emotions is like learning a new skill, it’ll get easier with practice.
Contact an accredited psychotherapist to help you.
If you would like to understand more about your emotions and learn better ways to understand and manage them, please click the link below to get in touch and book an assessment.