Why do I worry?
This is a common question and firstly I think it’s important to agree what a worry is:
A worry is a negative thinking process that is often posed as a question, ‘what if….’. What if’s can quickly snowball, gaining momentum and negativity and leading to worst case scenarios and catastrophes of things that might happen in the future. Worries often make us feel anxious and cause physical symptoms in our bodies like ‘butterflies of doom’ in our stomachs, increases in heart rate and tension in our shoulders, jaw and head.
Take Jane as an example:
Jane came for therapy because she said her head was full of negative thoughts, she said she was in a constant conversation with herself about all the possible things that could go wrong for her and her family. She said her mind created one story after another about things that could happen that would lead to absolute disaster. The end of the story was always something terrible, that her family would abandon her, she would become homeless, she wouldn’t be able to cope, and she would die alone under a bridge.
She told me that her thoughts made her incredibly anxious, to the point where she felt sick and tense all the time. She said it was worse at night when she couldn’t distract herself as easily and she would lie awake, unable to sleep, living these catastrophes in her mind. Understandably Jane was exhausted, and this made her snappy in the daytime, she also noticed that she didn’t want to do things with her family or want them to do anything in case something bad DID happen and she’d have to face the reality of her worries. Over time this became unbearable for Jane, she went to her GP who prescribed some medication and suggested she try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
Does this resonate with you? If so, read on…
A really important thing to understand about worry, is that it’s a totally normal experience and something that occurs to us all from time to time. We are more likely to worry if we are in situations that are causing us higher stress levels than normal. A few examples (but not an exhaustive list) include waiting for test results following health investigations, being made redundant from a job, getting a new job, buying a house or having a baby etc. People experience worry in lots of different ways, it might be that you don’t resonate with Jane’s experience but your worry is a problem for you, if that’s the case, please reach out to us for some help.
So why do we worry in the first place?
Our brains are marvellous machines. One thing that makes them effective is a ‘negativity bias.’
This sounds like a bad thing but it’s actually really very helpful. Having the capacity to spot what, when, how and where things might go wrong and take action to keep safe has kept humans alive for about six million years. Our brains are really smart at being able to anticipate danger and take steps to prevent it.
Unfortunately, this helpful strategy can get carried away and we start to spot more and more things that could go wrong. When worry becomes excessive it can take over our lives, it stops us from doing things, drains our energy and causes big problems, this is known as Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD).
Here’s some other things you can do that will help when you are feeling worried:
Be mindful of the amount of caffeine you are consuming. Caffeine mimics the effects of anxiety and when we feel anxious, we are more likely to have anxious thoughts. Switch to decaf or herbal teas if you like a hot drink from time to time. Please be aware though that decaf doesn’t mean ‘no caff’ and some decaffeinated drinks still contain small amounts of caffeine. Green tea and some herbal drinks also contain caffeine so please check the labels.
Look at your schedule and see where there are gaps for ‘me time’. Worry can often come from stress and stress comes from a lack of balance. Find space for activities that recharge your batteries and take time to decompress.
Journalling is helpful to write down your worries and get them out of your head. This can be particularly helpful before bed. Our brains like solutions so simply writing something down can help your brain to stop cycling the thoughts around your head.
Poor sleep can make us feel more anxious and stressed. Work towards improving your bedtime routine to include time to wind down and relax before bed. We often busy ourselves all day and put ourselves to bed expecting to fall asleep immediately, but we haven’t given our brains chance to know it’s bedtime, so we lay awake with a head full of thoughts and worries.
Exercise. This can have a massive impact on worry and negative thoughts by decreasing stress hormones like cortisol. Exercise helps us to learn how to stay focused in a helpful way so that we are more able to refocus from any worries that creep in.
If you have tried all these things and find your worry is still a problem, then reach out for some help. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is the recommended treatment for Generalised Anxiety Disorder and excessive worry. We will help you to understand more about your worries, what is keeping them going and then teach you strategies to break out of the cycle of worry.
If you have any questions or would like to know more, please click the link below to get in touch and book an assessment.