How to seek support following baby loss
Baby loss is unfortunately not a rare event, and it is estimated that one in four pregnancies in the UK end in loss during pregnancy or birth (Tommys). Many people do not feel able to talk about their loss, and this can lead to people feeling isolated or alone with their feelings related to this.
Some of the common feelings you might experience following baby loss are:
Anger
Sadness
Guilt
Shame
Jealousy
Hopelessness
Loss of confidence in other areas of your life
As the partner of someone experiencing baby loss you may feel all the same emotions as above, but not always at the same time as your partner. You might also feel at times like you don’t know how best to support your partner. You might feel like you have to try and be the strong one, and not focus enough on your own difficult feelings.
Recent research carried out by Tommy’s also suggested that 4 in 10 women reported symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder following a pregnancy loss.
Top tips for managing your feelings at this difficult time:
Talking to friends and family about your feelings.
Talking about your baby if you feel comfortable to do so.
Keeping a memory box with keepsakes, photographs, and things that remind you of your baby.
Connecting with others who have been in a similar situation, through online forums, social media, or in person support groups.
Talking to a professional if you are struggling with ongoing symptoms of anxiety, depression, or trauma.
Getting fresh air and gentle exercise
Taking as much time as you can to heal and process your feelings.
Some agencies that can provide additional support are:
SANDS (Still birth and Neonatal Death Charity) https://www.sands.org.uk/ the support they provide includes helpline, in person support groups, and an online forum.
Tommys- https://www.tommys.org/ provide online information, a midwife helpline, and a pregnancy after loss Facebook group.
Miscarriage Association https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/information/miscarriage/ - Provide a helpline, and online forum.
ARC (Antenatal results and choices) https://www.arc-uk.org/ provide information and support around antenatal testing and results.
Lullaby Trust- https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/bereavement-support/ offers support for those who have experience the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or young child.
Written by Emily and Tom Shiels.