How to Have a Great Relationship
Great relationships are one of the most rewarding parts of life—they bring joy, support, and a deep sense of belonging. In fact, strong connections are essential for good mental health, helping us feel seen, valued, and understood. But relationships aren’t always easy. Finding the right balance between closeness and individuality can be challenging, and when that balance is off, even the best relationships can struggle. Too much distance can lead to loneliness, while too much closeness can make us feel lost in the relationship. Whether it’s a romantic partnership, a deep friendship, or a family bond, maintaining a healthy dynamic takes effort—but when we get it right, the benefits for our well-being are immeasurable.
So, how can we create and maintain the best relationships? Let's dive into some evidence-based tips that can help you cultivate deeper connections, based on science and expert advice.
Good Communication is the Foundation.
Communication is often called the "glue" that holds relationships together, and for good reason! Research consistently shows that couples who communicate well are more likely to have long-lasting, healthy relationships. But it’s not just about talking—it’s about listening, too. A recent study found that couples who openly share their thoughts and feelings, and who listen attentively to each other, have higher levels of relationship satisfaction. When you express your needs and concerns clearly, it reduces misunderstandings and emotional distance.
Be Honest and Open: Share your feelings, not just the facts. Being open creates trust and makes your partner feel valued.
Listen Actively: Truly listening is more than just hearing words—it’s about understanding and making the other person feel heard. Show engagement by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using small verbal affirmations like “I see” or “That makes sense.” Reflect back what your partner says in your own words to confirm your understanding and ask thoughtful questions to show you’re genuinely interested. Avoid interrupting or thinking about your response while they’re speaking—focus fully on what they’re saying in the moment.
Use “I” Statements: Instead of saying “You never listen,” try saying, “I feel unheard when we’re talking.” This focuses on your feelings without blaming your partner.
Express Gratitude: Acknowledge the good things in your relationship. Studies show that expressing appreciation strengthens bonds and boosts happiness.
Make Time for Quality Time.
In today’s busy world, it’s easy to let work, responsibilities, and daily routines take up most of your time. But prioritizing quality time with your partner is key to maintaining a strong connection. According to recent research, couples who spend quality time together have stronger relationship satisfaction. It’s not just about being in the same room; it’s about being engaged with each other and creating shared experiences.
Have Date Nights: Regular, intentionally booked date nights (even if they’re just at home) help keep the relationship on the agenda and give you both something to look forward to.
Engage in New Activities: Trying new things together can help you bond and provide novelty and newness in a relationship. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe, taking a dance class, or going on a weekend trip, shared adventures can bring you closer.
Put Away Distractions: When you’re spending time together, put your phones away and focus on each other. Give your partner your full attention, and they’ll feel valued.
Don’t Forget About Time Apart.
While spending quality time together is essential, it’s also important to have time apart. This can sound counterintuitive, but it’s actually supported by relationship research. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman, one of the foremost experts on relationships, emphasizes the importance of maintaining individuality in a partnership. His research shows that couples who respect each other's need for personal space tend to have more satisfying relationships in the long run. This space allows each person to pursue their passions, friendships, and self-care routines, which contributes to their well-being.
Encourage Personal Hobbies: Make room for activities that each partner enjoys independently. This not only gives you both a chance to recharge but also brings fresh energy back into the relationship.
Maintain Friendships Outside the Relationship: Healthy relationships have a strong foundation of social support. Encourage each other to nurture friendships and networks outside of your romantic bond.
Take Solo Time for Self-Care: Whether it's a walk in nature, a book you’re reading, or a hobby you enjoy alone, personal time to recharge emotionally and physically is essential for feeling fulfilled and centred.
Seek Help When You Need It.
Even with the best intentions, relationships can sometimes hit rough patches. If you and your partner find yourselves struggling with recurring conflicts, communication breakdowns, or emotional disconnection, seeking help from a Couples Therapist can be a valuable step. Therapy provides a safe and structured environment where both partners can express their feelings, understand each other’s perspectives, and develop healthier ways of interacting.
Break Unhealthy Patterns: A therapist can help identify negative communication cycles and provide strategies to break them.
Improve Emotional Connection: Professional guidance can help rebuild intimacy and trust, strengthening your bond.
Gain Conflict Resolution Skills: Learning effective ways to manage disagreements can prevent small issues from turning into major problems.